Psychological support in a difficult situation. Advice from psychotherapist Maria Oliynyk

How to support your colleagues?

We live in a reality where we can find ourselves close to people who are going through a difficult time in their lives. This can be a long-term condition: a depressive episode, living with loss, serving loved ones in hot spots and constantly worrying about them.

Such situations make us feel powerless, but not indifferent. Here are some recommendations for HR and managers on how to respond if your colleague is struggling.

1. In the event of a sudden high-stress event, help your colleague to "ground": remind them where you are, ask if they can hear you. 

Take a breath together and give them a chance to stabilize. Ask if the person can reconstruct the chronological sequence of events and what their plans are for the future. What can your colleague do right now to improve their condition? Talk about it.

Such actions restore capacity and functionality. 

2. Give them the opportunity to talk about their feelings and thoughts.

It is important to be correct, take your time, ask short questions, and be empathetic.

In no case should you say standard soothing phrases: "everything will pass", "the main thing is that everyone is alive", "time heals". In this situation, the most important thing is to withstand the tension of the context of the story.

3. Prolonged stress depletes and takes away resources, and therefore, in this state, people often go into "energy saving mode". The main thing is not to try to actively "pull" out of this state.

Offer help that you can actually provide, ask what the person is ready to talk about. It may be about their situation or something else entirely - follow their needs.

4. Please avoid discussing a colleague's situation with other colleagues. This is definitely not an occasion for small talk.

If you notice that a person needs help, it's best to discuss it with your HR manager or direct supervisor on a one-on-one basis.

5. If you are an HR, manager, or a person responsible for the team's resources, carefully offer the person help with possible options from the company, such as additional vacation, sick leave, financial support, or work with a mental health professional.

What is the best way to do it?

In the format: 

• a reflection of your observation ("I've noticed that lately you've been...");
• normalization ("In the situation you are in, this is quite understandable and natural);
  offer ("We would like to help you a little bit and offer...");
• feedback ("How do you like it?"). 

It's important to be sensitive in such situations and not try to "make everything okay." Your colleagues are adults and can choose the best strategy for coping with difficulties. However, show humanity, leave a space of safe contact and the right to ask for help.

A little reminder:

Talk about these practices and possible support from the company openly to everyone - at general meetings, reminders in letters, and one-on-one meetings.

Trust in the work environment, a sense of support, assistance and sincere curiosity are the best things we can do for each other.